I haven't blogged in sometime. Well actually since Christmas. Holidays were over and everything put away and I wasn't even sad to but it away. It was a good Holiday season---being careful not to tire out.
Seems everything is going along good for awhile and then my body reminds me that I have not one but two chronic diseases.
So much that people don't understand when you have a chronic disease you never know what each day will be like. Faith is what you lean on and sometimes that gets just a little hard.
In 2008 I finally find out I have Lupus and I thought that was bad enough. About six months after that I find out I also have Dermatomyositis, a severe muscle disease. Then along comes Rheumatoid in 2010. I just sometimes think I can't bear hearing another negative diagnosis.
Yes I know it could be so much worse I hear that all of the time but tell that to my wonderful husband, family and friends. They see me at my very worse and it seems never to get alot better.
After Lupus came into my family I was tired. Tired of being angry. Tired of being frustrated. Tired of having to defend myself because I didn’t look sick. Tired. Period. Something had to give. Having a chronic illness meant I would have it for the rest of my life. Whether I liked it or not, the diseases aren't going anywhere. Just when I think they have all calmed down they rear their ugly head again and are present for another time.
Again I have watched my wonderful husband leave for church without me. I have my clothes out but a sleepless night from pain and so tired. Does anyone understand????I don't think so unless you have walked in my shoes.
I often tell people when they see me and compliment how great I look that I have my face on .
Many mood swings with all of this is so annoying. My life a mess at the present and no cure.
Now three weeks ago because of all the medicine i am on I find out I am insulin deficient and that is another battle. So one thing fights another.
I had to let go of the life that I had and try to live the life that I have been dealt. The aches, pains ,flares, weight gain, swollen joints, and horrible muscless didn’t change, but my attitude sure did.
I need lots of laughter in my life !!!!! Friends and family are great. Then I also need alone time to absorb what it is going on with my body.
Lots of people have a disease and it is cured but not this ugly group of diseases.
